Monday, December 7, 2009
I know I have to move on someday, just not today, not today... I think I will be able to smile now, but I'm still stupid, I'm still waiting and hoping... You are like a beautiful wound in my heart, tormenting me and yet I refuse to let you go. I know I am foolish, but I don't mind. I still can't stop crying out, because I can't stop thinking of you. But I think I can smile and still put up a laugh, because I know thats the best for us (: What's mine will be mine, but I knw, what isn't mine will never be. Who cares?? Love is blind.-
YES, I will laugh, smile and crack funny jokes. But I guess it was too big a concession to make to get rid of all my emo-ness, because, I just can't let go... Oh whatever. Shall start my smile and laughter with a piece of juicy news for all you folks to convince you I am funny and happy once again. Anybody heard that we are changing our principals?? Haha, apparently, we got a person who is so freakin tyco like he striked the lottery to get himself from being principal of JJC to our school; not saying JJC is bad, but he actually managed to squeeze Ms E's big ass off the principal's seat XD Haha, I can assure you Ms E misses us, but let me tell you, we will either miss her like crazy or totally not miss her and send her off with confetti XD
1) HE is a bloody racist. One day at JJC, he went on the stage to talk about Indians crowding together to form a gang and whatever, right in front of the entire school?? Haha, though its a pity to have a pathetic ethnic population barely enough to form a gang for him to scold in RV, I'm bloody sure some of us will enjoy his racist humour :X
2) Oh, nobody is gonna like him for this point. He likes to be truthful about us on the fact that principals and never busy, instead of going on overseas trips (sorry Ms E), he barges into a random classroom with a rod (reminds you of cartoon characters??), knocks a student with too long hair on the chair and confiscates the ez link card. He demands it to be cut by 6pm and blah blah blah. A student refused to give in and
whack!! Haha let me picture it for you...
Yup, right to the grand chairman is him :X Uh uh, I don't like the sight of this. We're certainly not going to appreciate him for that... No way. Haha, it's got Alvin apologising for driving Ms E away on facebook XD I'm not going to do that... I don't think he'll hit Chinese. We're the yellow skinned superior race. LOL
Because I am stupidI'm really, very foolish
I know of no one other than you
You're looking at someone else
Yet you have idea of my feelings like this
I won't be in your days
I won't be in your memories either,
However, only you, my eyes looked only at you,
And the tears keep coming...
As I watch you walking past, I'm still happy
Even though you still don't know my heart
I should stop this and leave...
I really want to see that day
I'm withstanding the pain each day
"I love you" is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Along once again, missing for you
Baby, I love you, I'm waiting for you.
I won't be in your days
I won't be in your memories either,
However, only you, my eyes looked only at you
I'm creating memories alone...
Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
I get to look at your pretty smile
But I cannot laugh with you...
I'm thinking about you so much everyday
My heart is hurting in all these sad days
"I want to see you" is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Alone once again, missing for you
Baby, I'm waiting for you, I love you
Bye, bye, never say goodbye
Even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you, I can't say anything more, I want you
I keep on hoping too, I'll keep hoping...
I'm withstanding the pain each day
"I love you" is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
I'm thinking about you so much everyday
My heart is hurting in all these sad days
"I want to see you" is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
Alone once again, missing for you
Baby I'm waiting for you, I love you.
strips of memory-
11:12 PM
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Appreciation is a blessing that brings joy to life. Drizzling. Life is never fair, because we are never satisfied and love to compare...-I'm done with all the emo stuff (: I guess all those beautiful memories and perfections in my life poisoned my mind and made me into a perfectionist, unable to admire the roses along the path of life. Being too insistent on living out my ideal life makes me such an idiot to forget that life is never fair and perfect. I missed out on a lot of stuff, only now then I realise and believe the irony in the statement "Beautifully imperfect". I don't care about lacking anything anymore, because I love my life and myself (egoistical??). Thats it, no more focusing on what I don't have, I have happiness (:
-
I am released, because I know the answer now...
strips of memory-
7:17 PM
Saturday, December 5, 2009
My favorite song of all times, with all the touching lyrics that empathise
好人若谈样子不会叫好
不算最讨好
但我的内在美不够味道，
哪足以自豪
谈为人当然好
双手也好抱
无奈独有伴侣问前路
没有想陪同邻家男孩跳舞
唯独当我师徒
人人亲近我
无人争夺我
无人关怀是谁大平卖亲和
平凡像我路过十个似我，情敌实在太多
人人鼓励我
无人倾慕我
常常激励别人尽情热恋，事后遗下我
像毒咒，无人爱我？
别吓我
并无自欺，所有老死(死党）只配当知己
愿意跟我细诉恋爱挫折，
抱住我会死
谈完情拖好手，都将我抛弃
从来没理会我喜与悲
是那么平凡仍可以来斗气
谈情令我心死
由得我死
人人亲近我
无人争夺我
无人关怀是谁大平卖亲和
平凡像我路过十个似我
你管不到那么多
天都不爱我
立心孤立我
平凡的人若提及情分便显得不配么？
难道我看不到现况正是结果？
由得我
无人争夺我
无人关怀是谁大平卖亲和
平凡像我路过十个似我
情敌实在太多
天都不理我
令我想清楚
感情是来自由弱者所写的悲歌
事实上为什么不拍到拖
说穿了我不美
信我。
strips of memory-
7:52 PM
Friday, December 4, 2009
Love can't come before forgiveness. Rainy. I smile and laugh like nothing happened, because I want you to remember me for whom I used to be, a happy and carefree person, because I want to spare you the pain of seeing me in such a state...-
Haha, MINDS concert was so funny. We have, 张国荣，Michael Jackson and many other imitations... So much laughter and fancy dresses. I went in at 11am, still half asleep, and suddenly I see a whole spectrum of colours in front of me. It turned out to be a fancy dress party. But surprisingly, the trainers stayed dull and low-profile. "Its their day." How I loved the concert, all the clapping and cheering rocked the hall. Team, you missed the show (:
-
Don't ask me why. Its complicated. I really do wish things so simple like hate or love. I'm sorry, they don't work like that.
-
I'm forgetting... Help me.
strips of memory-
9:31 PM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Erasing the past and preparing for the future, which means I'll never have to cry for what has happened, but to cry for what is going to happen. Cloudy. Before that you didn't know, but now you know...-
I always worried you would know, to be frank... But things took a dramatic turn. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm done. I don't mind telling you now (: What can you do now that you know?? Haha. Well, you will be able to understand my italics now?? Till that fateful day when you asked me to explain everything, I thought nobody will ever understand the entire thing. Now you know (: But things won't change, I'm still me, so ... There won't be a stop to emo posts Xp.
-
Dear, its a lie. I took them seriously, and see where it got me?? I didn't plan to make that high profile exit. Its never an option to me until I realise I was left with no choice... Because the only way to preserve my honour is to leave with dignity. Twice deceived, I consider that exit to be my final declaration that I am not interested in playing on with their politics and games. Haha, that excuse of not managing my studies is a bloody lie, exposed rudely at that moment when I stepped onto the stage to get the academic award...
-
I always consider being tactful as being an adavantage to a person when he brings a sensitive message. I retract that statement now. To speak to you, I am forced to speak in the rudest and crudest way, partly because you have a skin as thick as an elephant (4 fingers thick). Instead of saying "That was not appropriate" , I guess all I have to say to you is what I felt in that split-second before I calmed down, "Shut up, stop being such a spoilt brat who doesn't know his manners." (I excluded the vugarities, being partially tactful...)
-
Go, before I miss you, because I know I will. Why do you always have to turn back?? Just leave...
strips of memory-
8:04 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
At some moments in life, to love means to let go and smile... Its about he/she being free and not about me being left alone, isn't it?? Sunny. I know I should never stop believing, never stop loving and never stop giving... But its so hard... Because you may be the one and only...
-
HEY... ANYONE WITH A CITIBANK CREDITCARD??? CAN YOU PLEASE CALL ME??? Haha, I just received notice of a superb offer by Cathay Pacific... $298 to HK, reserved only for CITIBANK credit card holders... I NEED THAT DAMN TICKET... I must get to HK... Haha, i'm desperate, being aggravated by Mum's condition that I have to find cheap air fares (I can jolly well treat myself to a Cathay Airways Business Class... But I guess I have to be modest and thrifty...) Please please do tell me if you have that card... I need it!!!!
-
It is really better to give than to receive. Went back to MINDS yesterday, guess I miss those ppl there, Rozlan, Fauzi, Fadli, Sudha, Eileen, Bee Lay,Chee Huey and Chee wai... All of them. Haha, clement and I worked our guts out trying to complete the task. But the process is really funny and hilarious (enjoyed the part about 'Kinky Clement') Hahaha...
-
You are so right... The irony sensed in you telling me that statement. It really does hurt me so much...
strips of memory-
7:56 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Winter can mean different things to people, it would mean clearing snow off their pavement in Vancouver, making snowman in Munich, Ski-ing in Stockholm or... nothing to Singapore (: Sunny (rare nowadays). You meant so much to me, but I guess I'm just a nobody to you... To think that I was so stupid to believe that we still have that tiny winy bit of feelings left. I'm stupid...-Life is funny... I really thought we had something special, at least you made it sound that way in front of others... We never quarelled, always smiled... But I guess if there was something we were very great at, that is presenting ourselves. I don't think I asked for a lot... But don't give me what I want, cos... I think I will miss u and won't bear to see you leave.
-
Loving you from afar, because I know it will never be my turn.
strips of memory-
6:58 PM
